Encouragement for Isolated Families

By Aaron and Jamie Dieringer

Dear friends,

A PANDEMIC MENTALITY

The Covid-19 pandemic is the biggest crisis to hit the world stage since WWII. Our grandparent’s generation had to adapt to a wartime mentality, which meant coping with significant changes to their daily life. For some it meant shipping off—or sending off their loved one—to the frontlines. They had to process the emotional toll of upheaval.

Most of us today are not dealing with that degree of radical life-altering change. Nevertheless, we still do have to adapt to a pandemic mentality, which involves significant change to our daily routines. It also means increased stress and emotional turmoil. That’s why Jamie and I are writing this note—to encourage you as you adjust to your life of social isolation.

We are a family with young children, and so we especially have families with younger children in mind as we write this. This letter is lengthy (but hopefully worthwhile), so you might want to grab a mug of coffee or tea before you dive in. You might even want to bookmark this for later, and once your kids are in bed, skim through this with your spouse.

Jamie and I touch on a lot of points (e.g., family dependence, adapting to change, your marriage, parenting, feeling stir crazy, homeschooling, discipline, rest, the home, toys, family devotions, family church, scheduling fun, music, mood, meditative prayer, coping mechanism, and more) so we encourage you to glean through it all and pick out what applies to you. We know how precious your time is, so we sincerely hope you come away with something practical and uplifting.

Before we share some points of encouragement, here is a bit of our story:

OUR STORY

We know a little about isolation.

Not because we are social outcasts or doomsday preppers, but because we are Christian missionaries. Over breakfast this morning, Jamie and I were talking, and it occurred to us that many of our friends in various places are adjusting to a new reality that isn’t so different than ours. We are not suggesting we are pros at coping with transitions and social isolation. We are not. Far from it. But we do have a testimony to share that might be helpful to some.

For a few years now, we have been living and serving in a remote island in the Pacific nation of Vanuatu. Jamie and I, and our three girls, live and work on the island of Mota Lava where we facilitate Bible translation and Scripture use.

The people here are lovely, and we have even been adopted into a local village family who looks out for us extremely well. Even though the people here are very kind and engaging, we still experience significant isolation. There are a number ways in which we experience this sense of isolation, but primarily in two ways: geographic isolation and cultural isolation. This isn’t exactly what you are going through, but it certainly relates.

We live at the very tippy-end of a supply line. The closest store is on a different island about 150 miles away. Every few months we send in an order of groceries to the store, they load our boxes onto a small cargo ship, and a few weeks later that ship drops off our boxes at the beach, hopefully dry. Whenever a cyclone (or a pandemic) interrupts the supply line, or whenever the ship is in dry-dock for repairs, we can experience delays of multiple weeks.

It seems perfectly normal to us to buy 100-200 rolls of toilet paper at a time because we don’t know when we will get the next chance to resupply.

There are no grocery stores on our island. No hardware stores. No pharmacies. No restaurants. No cafes. The villagers here are gardeners who live in simple houses made of bamboo and leaf. We live off-grid and use a solar system and satellite internet to stay connected to the outside world. There is a small grassy airstrip on our island, and a tiny twin prop plane stops by two or three times a week. The nearest (and only) movie theater is two flights away. There is a small clinic on our island with a meager supply of medicine. Our youngest daughter has received stitches there twice. We truly live on the edge of the map.

I’m only mentioning these details to highlight one point—we are not newcomers to geographic isolation. We know what it is like to be disconnected from friends and relatives. We are a normal family who knows too well the cost of isolation.

In addition to the geographic isolation, we also live with cultural isolation. In order to serve the people around us, we are working to learn two new languages. Sometimes I really want to chat with a buddy about college football in English. That’s my culture and my language. But when I’m walking around the villages here, I need to use their language and talk about topics that interest them, like the countless different varieties of breadfruit that grow on the island. We are embedded in a culture that is wildly different than anything else we have experienced before. I could go on and on with illustrations to make this point, but suffice it to say that no matter how many years we live here, we will always be cultural outsiders. It’s a good day here if we can tell a joke and somebody actually laughs.

FAMILY DEPENDENCE

The experience of our combined geographic and cultural isolation translates into our daily life in many ways. Most notably it means that we must depend heavily on our family unit to care for most of our social needs. Before we became missionaries, we had a network of people around us who could help meet our normal family needs—people like friends, neighbors, co-workers, pastors, doctors, schoolteachers, babysitters, etc. If we wanted to schedule a play-date, if we needed a hand with something, if needed advice, or if we needed to vent, we could go to those people. This network of people helped us to manage the normal stress and emotions of daily life. It was the opposite of social isolation. It was social interdependence.

Guess what. This pandemic is now restricting your access to your social network of people. It is now much harder to lean on your friends, neighbors, co-workers, pastors, doctors, schoolteachers, babysitters, etc. You may even be isolating yourself from visiting your parents. That’s hard. God famously said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” And it is true. Social isolation is like sunlight deprivation for our soul. It is punishing. Even the most stalwart of introverts will begin to feel the toll of isolation after a while. Believe me.

ADAPTING TO A NEW REALITY

Because of the pandemic, some of you who are reading this are adapting to working from home or homeschooling, or both. Your world has shrunk significantly. You feel like you are under house arrest with your family, and it stopped feeling like a vacation after the first puzzle. Moreover, the realization has set in that this may be your new reality for the next several months. The stress that you are feeling today is comparable to the stress you might feel if you just moved and are looking for a new job. Maybe worse. Like one of my friends, you may be eating your mother-in-law’s terrible cooking for the foreseeable future. (Note: My mother-in-law is an excellent cook! Not talking about you, Nana!)

Let’s pause a second to recognize that the stress and emotions you are going through are very real. That’s ok. You’re human, and this is normal. Be sure to give yourself extra grace and kindness as you process this change. You are probably going to see the symptoms of what is going on inside you bubble up to the surface. You might have nightmares about feeling paralyzed or helpless. I do. You might get irritated very easily and get snappy with your family. I do. You might say mean things you’ve never said before in your whole life. I do. You may get irrationally angry over tiny things. I do. It is all-too-easy to take out your stress on your family. Try to recognize when it is happening, and defuse the tension with hugs, patience, quick apologies and easy forgiveness. Your family is going through a kind of emotional shock. It’s hard for everybody.

YOUR MARRIAGE

Now more than ever before you must depend on your family unit to meet each other’s social needs. It is a big adjustment. But there is an upside. Most significantly, for Jamie and me, our marriage is more battletested than ever. I’ve never leaned so hard on my wife as I have these past years, and she on me. We comfort each other, counsel each other, cry together, pray with each other, and just are there for each other. We depend on each other to survive and push through. The upside of depending on my wife through the challenges of social isolation is that our marriage is stronger. That is not a given. It is something that we have to both work toward, but, as a result, like many beautiful things that come to bear under heat and pressure, my wife is more precious to me than ever.

If you are married, and you are self-isolating with your family, you now have a golden opportunity to put your marriage through the ringer. Your spouse is now looking to you to wear more “hats” than you ever wore before. You can do this! Commit yourself now to being the spouse that your spouse needs, and your future self will thank you for it. Again, you can do this! God will help you, and you can—I repeat—can be content and happy in your marriage—with God’s help!—even in the midst of a challenging, extended season of social isolation.

YOUR CHILDREN

Isolation has also made Jamie and I into better parents. We have to be. For our three girls, we essentially wear every “hat” in their lives—parent, teacher, principal, pastor, auntie, uncle, coach, clown, chef, etc. We have to pay very close attention to the social needs of our girls. Sure they have village friends and village grandparents, and sure our girls are conversational in the trade language, but they still spend the bulk of their time under the watchful eye of mom and dad. It falls on us to shepherd their hearts.

Generally speaking, kids adapt easier to changes than adults. Adults can become very fossilized in their routines, while kids are more flexible. Our kids are champs. But even champs need routines and stability.

Your kids may be going through a significant transition. If they were going to school and interacting with teachers and classmates before, and that is suddenly gone, it’s a big deal. You kids may be going through emotional turmoil and stress, too. Our girls will quickly become emotional when we are preparing for a trip or trying to settle into a new place. When their routines and stability starts to become unfamiliar, their behavior starts to become unfamiliar. They complain a lot more and cry a lot more. They might become clingy. When we ask them to help out with chores, they might push back. They might slam doors and sulk. We’ve come to understand that this isn’t because they are being defiant or are being rotten. It is because they are struggling to process the emotional stress of a transition. This means we have to parent them differently. Normal rules don’t apply during transition and upheaval. I can’t solve these kinds of problems by sending them to their room or doling out heavy-handed punishment. That’s actually counter productive. They will either cry more, or get angry more.

We are not exceptional parents. We have not figured it out. Not even close. But we have been through a lot of isolation and a lot of challenging transitions. In the past five years, our kids have lived in four different countries and three different villages. They live out of suitcases a lot. They’ve said good-bye to a lot of friends. Transitions are hard, even for champs.

If we see that our girls are having an especially rough day, we’ve learned that we need to take them on a walk and have some quality one-on-one time. If it is raining, we might just sit and color together, taking turns talking and listening. If you have the luxury of ice cream, have a parent-child ice cream date. It is amazing how therapeutic quality time is for a child going through transition.

SEQUESTERED TOGETHER

Everyone in your family is all adjusting to the intense strain of being cooped up together for days and weeks on end. Even though my family has not exactly been “sheltering in place,” we know that stir crazy feeling. Once upon a time, I had a big, quiet office with a huge desk, comfy chair and minimal interruptions. It was great. Today my “office” is a tiny table in the corner of my bedroom. My daughters interrupt me a few thousand times an hour. They even know how to unlock the door with a butter knife. If you are trying to figure out working from home, I feel your pain. Adjusting to work from home can make you feel like you are trying to write an email while riding on a parade float.

Adjusting to school your kids from home is even harder.

Jamie is an exceptionally good teacher, but I know that homeschooling our three little terrors/angels is significantly harder than when she taught full classrooms of kids back in her public school teacher days. I cannot exaggerate how much I admire her for the hard work and self-control she puts into homeschooling. Moms like her sacrifice everything to put the needs of their kids first. Perhaps we should ask Jamie to write an addendum about homeschooling and caring for children?

HOMESCHOOLING

From Jamie (italics):

As Aaron noted, home-schooling our 3 girls has been very different than teaching a classroom of 20-30 children. Thankfulness overflows in my heart for this opportunity to be teaching my children daily. They see me at my best and they see me at my worst. This allows them to see the Gospel of Grace found in Jesus Christ as I seek their forgiveness and put at a high priority a right relationship with Jesus and them. Parents, be quick to forgive and ask forgiveness of your children and your spouse. We don’t have this down and we are a work in progress, but we seek this as a family.

Another aspect of homeschooling is discipline. I have found that incentive has worked far better than discipline for our family when it comes to their homeschool routine. We tend to give hugs, kindness, have conversations and will even choose not to finish a worksheet or project when there is frustration on their part or my part. We value the relationship over the work.

The incentive we put in place allows them to receive a prize at the end of the week and gives our girls the push they need to finish their school work. If you want detail you can finish this paragraph, if not, skip the next few paragraphs.

First, I write down their assignments either the night before or early in the morning in their planner. Our twins that are 9 have 1 journal writing assignment a day (copying a paragraph or Bible verse and sometimes filling in parts of a sentence on their own), 2 cursive pages a day, 1 math lesson, science or history, 1 of my daughters reads for 30 minutes on her own and the other is in a curriculum reading program with me, and they both practice multiplication flashcards. I highlight what I want them to work on with me so they can differentiate what I expect them to complete on their own. If they start on their own in the morning they get a sticker for that day. If they complete the work with a good attitude they get another sticker for that day to add to their chart. If they receive 8-10 stickers in 1 week they receive a small prize.

On Friday we have a small family ceremony just before a special lunch with food I know they enjoy and then we call them up 1 by 1 to pick from the prize box, clapping for them and celebrating them. We end with a special dessert. This has been our routine for 5 weeks now and it is working. Before I thought that I just needed to expect them to do the work because they are children and I didn’t want to spoil them, but even us as adults we reward ourselves or others reward us in our work and I believe it is how God has wired us. Our missionary friends reward their children with tablet time, so if you don’t want to go the “small toy” or “candy” route, you could limit their tablet time until they finish their work and use that as incentive. Do what works for your family.

Our other daughter is at the end of her kindergarten year and together we only work on 1 math lesson, 2 pages in her reading book, and practice her sight word flashcards and number flash cards. If she finishes that with me she receives 2 stickers for the day and can also receive a prize at the end of the week. This takes about 30 minutes and she plays for most of her mornings.

Finally, if you are not planning to have a homeschool schedule, just make sure you outline your expectations for your children for the day and make it simple. Put a chart on your wall and write what you expect from them and make it the same for every day. Each day my children know they are responsible for 1) school, 2) lunch dishes (this is our big meal each day.. except when we have company or Sundays), 3) cleaning up their mess when we ask them to, and 4) personal hygiene. Other than that, I encourage them to play, draw, paint, color, run around the yard, read, etc. I don’t have a schedule for them to do these things, but you might choose to have a schedule for reading/art/outside time, etc. Do what works for your family, your children and YOU.

ALTERNATING TOYS

TOYS… our children love their toys, but I find when they have constant access to all of their toys they aren’t playing with them as much and there is more of a mess. We keep most of their toys in the attic in containers and they can trade out 1 toy box for another. We don’t have a set time when we do this, we just let them ask us. If the timing works for us and we agree, we make sure they turn in a toy box to get another down. This motivates them to clean up their room and helps us to declutter and de-stress.

DISCIPLINE

On discipline… I truly believe that listening to your children when they have a meltdown, especially in private, hugging them and praying with them is so important in the midst of isolation, transition, upheaval and, might I add, everyday life. We live, work and sleep in a very hot climate and many mornings we wake up tired, feeling as though we only got a few hours of sleep.This affects us and our children. If Aaron and I are not careful, we will rely on ourselves rather than on God to parent. We have to pause and go to God, sometimes many times a day. Many times, too, I remind my children that God is real, listening, and present in my conversations with them. He helps us all do what we can't do on our own.

I urge you to go to praying with your children, hugs, talks, patience, listening, grace instead of demands, yelling and punishing. Lately when our girls are complaining, after a warning, we give them a small and appropriate chore to do, because we find a negative attitude can bring our entire family down. While there is an aspect of correcting our children's attitude and behavior (outward), the main issue is their hearts (inward). When you talk with your children in these God-ordained moments, God is giving you a unique opportunity to speak to their hearts by sharing the Gospel.

THE HOME

If your kitchen or house is a wreck and that is adding to your stress, don’t feel guilty for setting aside school for that day and getting the house to the place you need it to be. I had a day like this last week, and the week before… and the week before! I find that if we veer from our usual routine, they are even happier to play well throughout the morning (hoping I will forget about school I think!) and allowing me to get the kitchen or house back to where I need it to be… not spotless, but functional. If anyone knows me well, they know that I struggle to keep a clean house.

DAILY REST

We have around 1 hour of rest time each day. For some moms they have found they are able to have their children sit in their rooms looking at books for that time. Just make sure to build in some alone time, perhaps using a movie or a couple of episodes of their favorite show to entertain your children to give you the time you need if they won’t rest on their own. We do. Maybe you need to take a shower, spend time in the Word, pray, sleep, etc. You may find yourself more exhausted than ever before. You're wearing multiple hats for your kids 24/7.

Moms, your culture and others' expectations of you and your children put a lot of pressure on you. This affects how you feel. Put on the mind of Christ and seek what is important to Him. Work to please Him and work to help your children see the relationship you have with Christ. Don’t let your aggravation over a mess take over your heart or day and don’t take their attitude personally. Seek the mind of Christ in these irritations and hard moments. Set aside what you need to… don’t feel bad for not doing what you wanted to do in that day, finishing your checklist or for allowing your kids too many chips, etc. Seek to please Jesus Christ and what He wants you to do for the day, not necessarily what others expect for you to do in that day. Yes, be faithful, push through, but don’t let your identity be in what you accomplish or don’t accomplish during this very challenging time.

BEING THE PARENTS YOUR KIDS NEED

Parenting kids through this Covid-19 pandemic will not be easy. Your kids may be anxious and afraid. It may be necessary to tell them what they need to know without telling them too much. If your kids overhear you talking about the pandemic news—or hearing it on the TV—they may become overstressed or fearful. Take care to talk about some matters in private. If not, children may take the snippets of conversation they overhear and fill in the rest with their imagination. This can be a scary time. This is a big transition for them, too. If you have young children, they are going to need you to step up your parenting game. They are going to need you to wear more hats than ever before. You can do this! Step up and take full advantage of the quality time you can spend with your children. Seize this chance. Work at it. Your family is going to come through this stronger than before.

Jamie and I try to prepare our girls for big changes and transition by talking with our girls about what to expect before it happens. We try to prepare their hearts for the jolt of traveling. It is hard to leave behind toys or pets. We try to prepare their hearts for the jolts of a change in their homeschool routine or chore routine. These things, too, are big deals for kids. We try to over-communicate exactly what to expect. By talking about it in advance, it will help them to have more time to emotionally process the change.

THE COVID-19 TALK

When it came time to give a small awareness talk to the girls about Covid-19, Jamie and I first sat them down and talked to the girls about how this sickness was not a serious concern for children like them. They didn’t need to be afraid of it at all. Once they processed that, I tried to talk to them about the virus in terms they could understand. I talked to them about their Tinkerbell outfit that had gone into the wash that morning. Because that outfit was decorated with glitter, everything else in the wash also became covered in glitter. With that picture in mind, I explained that the virus is like “invisible glitter” that is easily passed from person to person. We talked about how that is done and how hand washing is very important to make sure any invisible glitter gets scrubbed off. They got it. If you think the “invisible glitter” concept might help you explain things to your kids, please use it.

FAMILY DEVOTIONS

Ok, I’m going to get preachy a bit. Bear with me. This to encourage you.

I believe that the single most important part of our family routine is our time of family devotions before bed. We do it before bed, but I know other families who do it over breakfast or dinner. Find what works for you, and do it. Guess what. This Covid-19 pandemic is a golden opportunity to make family devotions a part of your routine. Seize it.

Initially, it was hard to start the family devotions routine, especially because our girls were still young. But we’ve been doing family devotions for about 4 years now, and no matter where we are, it is the constant. It really helps to bring familiarity and routine to our evenings.

Here’s how it goes. We all sit down together. I make the kids sit up and listen, because I’m a meanie. If Jamie and I have any family business to talk about, we talk about it (e.g., “tomorrow we’re going to start packing for a trip…”). Then I will stand up and read a portion of Scripture. I don’t know why, but standing up helps. Try it. I usually read bit-by-bit through a book of the Bible—especially a narrative book, a gospel book, or Proverbs—and I just leave out the parts that are not kid-friendly. I prefer to use International Children’s Bible (ICB), which is a very good translation for kids (and adults). It is available for free through the BibleGateway app and is easily downloadable for offline use.

After I read for a minute or two, we usually have a short, informal chat ranging anywhere from 20 second to 10 minutes. Sometimes I will ask them a question or two. Sometimes the girls will ask a question or ten. Let me stress, this is a precious part of our family routine! It is amazing the stuff that comes up during these short chats. Finally, I will—still standing—pray over my family, our home, and our pets. I believe it is the most important thing I do every day. If you don’t believe that spiritual warfare is real, try being a missionary for a bit.

Sometimes I will pray over my children again, or one-by-one, as I tuck them in, especially if they ask me to. If we are out late or exhausted, I some times (but not often) skip the Scripture reading and put the kids directly to bed. But I will always pray over the family, the home and the pets. Always. I especially encourage dads to be the family leader in prayer. If dad isn’t there yet, mom can step in. But dad, get there. Your kids need to see you doing this. Family devotions must happen. A time of Scripture reading and prayer is medicine for the family’s soul.

FAMILY CHURCH

In the wake of pandemic restrictions, most church services are either cancelled or moved to online. Especially if your church doesn’t do the online thing, you might be figuring out how to do church at home. Usually for us that means doing a couple songs and praying with the kids. Jamie’s guitar and ukulele sometimes make an appearance. More recently, I’ve started to go online and find printable coloring pages that go along with Bible stories. Our girls love to color. Sometimes we log on to RightNow Media and watch a kid’s Bible study video, like Philippians: Where Does Joy Come From? by Phil Vischer. Those are quality. Eventually, Jamie and I dismiss the kids to play and listen to a sermon podcast and pray together. Find out what works for you, and do it. I like to conclude our family church service by praying a short benediction over my family. I commend that to you.

God is present when a small family of even just two or three pause to worship together. How will your family cope with a pandemic? By drawing closer to God. Make every effort to nurture your family’s spiritual health—and your own, too.

SCHEDULING FUN

Friends, embrace the weekly family meeting. Set a time once a week, maybe on Sundays, to get out your weekly calendar. Get the kids involved and brainstorm fun things to do as a family. Choose the best few ideas and put them on the calendar. Having fun things to do gives you something to look forward to during the week. We’ve found scheduling family fun to be a good morale booster. Not long ago, we scheduled a picnic at sunset with singing to the ukulele and walking home under the stars. It was really cool. We’ve done scavenger hunts around the yard. We’ve done family hikes where we keep on the lookout for yetis. Kites are fun. Karaoke. Card games. Mother-daughter baking sessions. Even father-daughter LEGO-building dates. Every Friday evening we do family movie night. I set up the projector and we watch a kid’s movie together. Just have fun doing things your family has fun doing. Remember, you’re trying to cope with a pandemic. You need to laugh and play. Have a dance break. Have a full-family NERF gun battle. We do. A little scheduled (or spontaneous) fun goes a long way.

THE FAMILY DJ

Parents, you may opt to be your family’s DJ. I’ve loaded lots of children’s worship music onto my phone, and when the kids start to get a sour mood, I turn it on. When the twins are doing the dishes, I will play upbeat music. When the mom and dad are stressed, I play calm instrumental music. When we are feeling stir-crazy from being cooped up in the house, I blast music and we have a super silly dance break. Yes, Jamie and I dance, too. You will never see this happen. But I assure you I am a great dancer.

If being the music DJ isn’t your thing, that’s ok. Still, you should take to heart that—as a parent—you are the “mood DJ” for your family. Even more important than the music you may or may not play, the mood you set for your family is key for happiness and harmony. If you are anxious and stressed, you kids will be anxious and stressed. If you are silly and carefree, your kids will be silly and carefree. Make a conscientious choice each morning to smile at your kids, hug them, and talk to them in a calm and cheerful tone. Your family needs that from you.

DRAW NEAR TO GOD

One of the best things I’ve done to help prepare my heart for the day is by spending time in meditative prayer before I get going in the morning. This is so key in managing my stress. I turn on the sound machine, put on a sleep mask, and kneel down by my bed with a pillow under my knees. I believe that God gave me an imagination for a reason. So, in my mind’s eye, I imagine myself going into my “tent of meeting” with God and spending some time there talking with him. I imagine other things, too, that help me to focus my meditation, like a mirror, or a suit of armor, or a cross, or an empty tomb. I fill my mind with good and true things from the Word of God and preach them to myself. There is nothing that helps to calm and recalibrate my soul like meditative prayer, and so I commend it to you, too.

For me, breathing also helps. I found if I breath in for 5 seconds and out for 10 seconds, and repeat that ritual as many times as I need to, it does in fact take the edge off of my stress. Give it a try? I've also found if I take 5 or 10 minutes to do some simple calisthenics, it really helps to get my mind and body ready for the day. This morning I led the girls in 10 minutes of calisthenics, and they loved it. Maybe add it to your family routine?

COPING MECHANISMS

Friends, you might develop some new coping mechanisms to help you deal with your Covid-19 stress. That, too, is normal, but take care that whatever your new coping mechanism is, you keep it in moderation. Don’t become compulsive or indulge a bad habit. As we are experiencing a season of increased social isolation, if we are not careful, we will find ourselves just staring at a screen. That is not the answer. Maybe watching an all night Planet of the Apes movie marathon is not the best way to help you cope with your social distancing? Maybe checking the pandemic “damage report” a dozen or so times a day isn’t either.

I remember a time when our family was sleeping in a simple hut in Papua New Guinea. We had been under a lot of strain and stress for weeks. One night, it was thundering and pouring rain, and there was a rat running between our mosquito nets, but we found a comedy movie saved on my phone and watched it, and the cares of the world just melted away. Laughter is medicine. Treat yourself to a funny show or movie when you need it. Maybe it is time to re-watch the show Monk?

REAL-TIME CONVERSATIONS

Friends, more than ever, we need Zoom, Skype, FaceTime and every other mode of video and voice interaction possible, on down to ham radios and walkie-talkies. Don’t text your mom. Video chat your mom. Don’t send article links to your buddy, call your buddy. We need actual, real-time conversations. Make a list of people you miss and randomly call one or two of them each day. Randomly call your old roommates and see how they are doing. Randomly call your auntie and talk to her about her cats. You don’t need a good reason to call and check in on someone. In fact, it is even preferable if you don’t have a reason. It is a normal, decent, good human being thing to just randomly ring up your friend, chat about nothing in particular, and ring off after ten minutes. Especially if you have a hot tip on where to score toilet paper, it is your duty as an upstanding citizen to pass that PSA on.

IN CLOSING

As you and your family bravely press into this time of isolation, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You are not alone. You are going to "stress up" and "mess up" aplenty. I do. But you and your family will adapt together—growing more gracious and more resilient—and as you persevere you will come out on the other side more humbled, battletested and refined to better love and serve each other. This is God's will for you.

May God bless you and keep you, and make his face shine upon you, now and forever more.

You can do this!